In the Map for Rapid Learning it is distinguished: Feedback is Gold !
Today I look at giving feedback from the other side of the communication, from the side of the communicator — me, the one that provides feedback.
The questions I ask myself are:
- Where does the feedback come from, or what is the source giving me feedback?
- What is the purpose of me giving feedback?
- What do I want to create with the feedback I’m giving?
- What can I see in myself that the feedback relates to?
To make it more accessible I will tell you one of my stories about some feedback that I wanted to give to another man.
Listening to the thoughts and feelings showing up in me, I heard myself being outraged and wanting to tell him, “How could you dare to speak badly about the Landmark Forum, when you never participated in the Landmark Forum?”
That instant, I stopped what I was doing.
“What?” (I asked myself.)
I got present to the fact that I myself had an opinion about the Landmark Forum even though I had never participated in the Landmark Forum.
I was doing exactly what I was complaining about/giving feedback about to the other person!
That same evening I went on the Internet, researched the next possibility to register for the Forum, and found out that in New York there would soon be a talk given by the founder of the Forum, Werner Erhard.
I attended that talk.
By taking action on the self-observation that I was about to give someone else feedback that I myself was ignoring, a doorway opened up for me to connect with Mr. Erhard and have the opportunity to work with him and his organization.
This possibility was something I had been looking for ever since I heard about the Work Mr. Erhard does.
This is what I refer to when I say: “Feedback is Gold!”
Each time I point with one finger towards someone else, three of my other fingers point back towards me — try it, now.
Here is the Experiment: When you are about to give feedback to someone else, split your attention so that you are looking two ways at the same time. Aim part of your attention on the feedback you created for the other person. Focus the other part of your attention on yourself to find out what is really going on inside of you.
What do you see in yourself when you look at your feedback for others — does your feedback relate to yourself too?
If you want to dig a little deeper into this, ask yourself those four questions I mentioned above about the feedback you are so ready to deliver to someone else. I tell you, life transforming Gold is there waiting for you to find it!